Find a divorce lawyer who understands how to deal with a narcissist and hire them immediately. The sooner you have a lawyer by your side to fight this battle, the better it will be for you and your children. Thus, the psychologist is more likely to diagnose narcissistic traits or traits. This won`t give you any advantage in court, as most people have narcissism to some extent. The DSM V lists narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) under group B personality disorders as: A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), the need for admiration and lack of empathy, from early adulthood, and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following points: Do not diagnose. You are not a psychology professional and, even if you are, do not make a diagnosis of your spouse in court or allow your lawyer to do so. Nor are they psychologists. Pay attention to patterns of behavior and how they affect your children. It is always in the best interests of the child`s analysis when it comes to a custody decision. Winning a guard battle with a narcissist requires careful planning. Once you`ve chosen a lawyer, you both sit down together, identify the desired outcome, and develop a plan to build your case and present it to the court. You can also apply for an injunction to limit what your ex-spouse can do while the case is ongoing. Should you mediate with a narcissist? If your jurisdiction requires it of all litigants in custody disputes, ask that you be in separate rooms and make sure in advance that the mediator will recognize the narcissist as such.

Determine if the mediator will provide the court report. If the mediator seems to be sucked in by the narcissist, see if you can ask for another mediator or stop the process. The crucial advice here is: Don`t fall to their level. Stay professional, even if they don`t. The court will look very closely at your behaviour. I am a founding partner of Fersch LLC, a family law firm in New York City. I am co-chair of the Matrimonial Lawyers Pro Bono Law Project, sponsored by the New York Women`s Bar Association, and serve on the board of the non-profit community word and Family Kind. I was named to the New York Super Lawyers list from 2013 to 2020.

It is also helpful to ask witnesses to testify about your ex-spouse`s behaviour. Invite family members and friends to your child`s activities. You can testify if your spouse does not show up. Have witnesses with you when you meet your spouse in person, if possible. When it comes to how to get custody of a narcissist`s children, hiring the right lawyer can make all the difference. You need someone who understands the nuances of narcissistic personality disorder. (For more information, check out our blog on co-parenting with a narcissist.) Google the word ”narcissistic” and you`ll find articles like ”Levels of Narcissism-Grandiose Self-Flexection,” ”Narcissistic Personality Disorder-Help Guide,” ”11 Signs You`re Dating a Narcissist,” and ”How to Deal with a Narcissist.” It`s not easy, but that`s how you win a guard battle against a narcissist. How should you deal with the narcissist? You will never win an argument with a narcissist. They can`t let this happen and you`ll just be frustrated and upset, which they will then use against you, claiming that you are emotionally unstable. People with a narcissistic personality like to brag about themselves.

They monopolize conversations and inflate their knowledge, achievements, talents and skills. When thinking about how to win a guard battle against a narcissist, remember that the more your spouse brags about himself in the stands, the more opportunities you have to discredit what he says. The only thing that keeps you going is love for your child. You may have lost your marriage, your illusions, and your dreams of a perfect family, but you`re not losing your child. A spouse living with a narcissist understands that the charming person everyone sees is truly a combative, controlling, and abusive person. Unfortunately, children may not notice these traits because the narcissistic parent manipulates the children. There`s no doubt that dealing with a narcissist in court can be incredibly frustrating. If you stay proactive in building your case, you can win this guard battle. In the meantime, avoid paying attention to the narcissist. It`s time to focus on yourself, your children, and detach yourself from the pain of the past. Narcissists will try to undermine you as best they can.

They are terribly good at getting under the skin of others whenever they want. And if it`s a spouse, they know all your secrets and all your pimples. A custodial conflict with a narcissist can be painfully personal, humiliating, and raw. They will take out your anger if you allow it. You could secretly record your interactions with them or the children. Defeating the narcissist in court means knowing who you`re dealing with and why they`re doing what they`re doing. Know your enemy – this saying has never been truer. Explain to them what you are dealing with and work together to develop a strategy to defeat the narcissist in court. Narcissists really know how to stir up anger.

It is a way of diverting attention from the real problem. So, the key to winning a guard battle against a narcissist is to behave, stick to the script, and avoid getting into unnecessary arguments and confrontations. It will not be an easy fight and to be in the best position to succeed, you need to be in a good mood and this can only be achieved with a strong support system. The narcissist will try to exhaust you. They will try to make you look like the villain and they will make you the victim. They will absolutely try to make you give up. Sufficient support will keep you going. Some judges prefer to give custody to the parent who lives in the family home. But they will also take into account your closeness to your spouse. For example, if you both choose to live in the same city, the judge will likely consider sharing custody. Warning!: What if it seems that the court gets it and decides in my favor? A narcissist thrives on your confusion and self-doubt. If they can keep you trapped in a ”lie,” they will.

When you go to court against a narcissist, it`s important that you start documenting everything now. Keep records, bank statements, invoices, photos and videos. Create calendars and journals to remember what happened and when. Upload your text messages and chat logs. Gather as much evidence as possible to show yourself, your lawyer, and the judge what it`s like to live with a narcissist. Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. Nothing written in this article should be considered legal advice. These are tips and questions you should think about to give yourself a better understanding of the psychological makeup of a narcissist. If you have any questions or concerns, please discuss them with your legal representative. This also applies to you: be careful to say things in the heat of the moment.

The narcissist will also gather evidence against you and may even prompt you to bend to his level. It happens sometimes. There`s a lot of anger in these cases, and if you`re in a guard battle with a narcissist, you might feel like the dispute is absolutely clear in your favor, when in fact it`s not. Your lawyer will guide you through all of this, and if they lay out your options, they will likely recommend an outcome that has the best chance of success in court, even if it`s not the most perfect outcome from your perspective. The final choice is up to you, but you need to pay close attention to their advice. What happens if a narcissist loses in court? They get angry when they think they are starting to lose a custody case. Don`t let yourself be manipulated. Lawyers, judges, police and other judicial officers recognize a narcissist even less often (unless they have previous experience with it). So make sure you get the best possible representation. Therefore, a narcissistic spouse will not want to be exposed before a judge. When confronted with facts, the person will likely allow their true nature to manifest.

A judge can see first-hand the combative, abusive, and controlling nature of the narcissistic parent. .